I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I’m miserable now.  ‘You’ve been in the house too long,’ she said.  So I naturally fled.”  Man, what a week will do to the stir crazy cabin fever of a brain if you don’t have something to occupy the devil’s hands.  It took ’round about a week to get all of the need for still stagnant behavior out of my system, and now I’m finally getting to the natural motion of things meant for this “boy with the thorn in his side.”  Buddha has been quite persistant and needy as I’ve been at the house and within the power of his gaze for days on end.  So, we’ve been taking long walks in the neighborhood and neighboring park.  The sun has been a welcome addition to the lazy days of the beginning of summer in Los Angeles.  Four years of Bay Area fog and edit bays and the fog of edit bays has turned my flesh something the color of a dusted French vanilla pasty pastry.  I do find it odd that I’m the only one walking around shirtless.  Perhaps California has finally come to terms with skin cancer, where as the southern blood that dug it’s claws into my veins has taken over – demanding that I run shirtless and drunken through the streets.  I am technically unemployed at the moment, so perhaps we’ll just rack that characteristic up to fitting in amongst my peers.  I haven’t had a good “stay-cation” where I do absolutely nothing in almost 8 years.  For those of you familiar with my life and good with the finer points of math and the time space continuum, that would be around the time I met a certain Christine Connolly.
Aghast!  Some sort of cold wet material is falling from the sky.  This is the first time it’s rained since we’ve moved to L.A.  I’m now beginning to wonder how the goods and boxes in the garage are going to hold up.  Most of it falls into the category of things that we want to hold onto but don’t currently have the room to house.  Normal people would find ways to part with such goods.  We shall see how it all weathers once Little Orphan Annie begins to sing, “the sun will come out… tomorrow.”
My new music purchases have been good companions.  Beastie Boys.  Fleet Foxes.  Tristeza.  Explosions in the Sky. Hanna Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.  It’s all been fun sitting at the computer again and just melting away in work, words, roto-scoping, and wondering where the hell the day went.  Other than that I’m still getting the necessary “screwing-around” out of my system.  Working for 20 years straight seems to find a rhythm and motion that is hard to break.  Anything longer than a week’s worth of down-time and I don’t really know what to do with myself.  All of these “unfinished” projects will need to get finished.  I no longer have an excuse, so perhaps if we’re all lucky, I’ll have a massive trove of goods to share in the not-so-distant future.  One can only hope.  I’ve been working on so many things that got to the 80% point, I feel like a failure on so many levels of youth wasted, time wasted, and life distracted.
Hopefully this is the breaking point. But for the moment, it’s The Smiths, scotch, and passing out before 1am.  I’ve got to get back on a schedule.  Shit is ridiculous.
-B
I’ve seen this happen in other people’s lives – now it’s happening in mine.’